A walk to re-member

I trekked, again, yesterday.

Basic sketch of the trek? Bangalore Trekking Club (BTC) organisers, Dinesh Yadav and Subha Sundaram, chose the train route as the fastest means to get to Rayakotti with 2 meeting point stations from which to join together as a team in the train. From Majestic the train was delayed by half hour and started at 7:35 and we were joined from Byappanahalli by the rest of the team. After an enjoyable train ride, eventually getting to know each other better en route, we alighted at Rayakottai, Tamil Nadu, station at about 9:45. After a pack-your-lunch stop at a local restaurant, we walked to Rayakottai hills. We climbed for the upstretch of 2 km in xx:xx time (I did not note the time we took because I had so much to look around and be awed/stress-and-refind strength/discover by!). We got to the top, explored the different view spots, clicked a lot of photos, teased each other and had fun, prodded/admonished/tricked/encouraged each other to stretch our limits, had lunch there and then descended to a cool cove amidst the rocks for some interesting games and then further descended to have some cool drinks and then catch a bus to Majestic so that we could all be in Bangalore by 7:30 max.

The above is the rough sketch. I love the details. The following is my learning-journal cum savor-as-much-flavors-from-remembered retrospection. Please feel free to dismiss if you have no patience for a long read as mine tends to be when I am all excited and digging into the opportunity of a thorough re-examination. Why miss an opportunity when there is so much to learn from retrospection, from examining and reliving an experience so that I can be amazed from retrieved info (and always be surprised by what my brain has been picking up while I was not consciously aware of its workings) and then pour the learnings thus retrieved into the blank timespace that is the present from where the future comes to be? This is my space and this is how I think I make the best out of the time and effort I would put/invest in doing this activity! (I hope the Reader enjoys/finds something to enjoy in/inspite of my, umm, rambling, back-and-forth style of doing so).

Following rhythms. (For those who don’t know me, I am a Body Intelligence Facilitator, and I study/observe rhythms in and of life to facilitate health). I had lots of rhythms to follow and explore and be surprised with as you would (hopefully) come to see in the following.

Yesterday, I trekked again. Rayakottai, the place is called. Historically, it was one of the favorites of the Tippu sultanate and that of his father, Hyder Ali. It has marks of its strategic build of structures in choice places and then marks of it being destroyed later, and now there are plants of interesting poignant silence growing everywhere around the crumbling structures and igneous rocks that stand witness to the passage of time.

We were 15 of us this time; 15 unknown people (2 of which I apparently knew – ‘apparently’ because we hardly really know even our own near and dear ones, very so often with our eyes clouded with prejudice, marring the chance to see their change through moments of time that is the present that changes the next moment. So, it was a walk to remember and re-member, at least for me, what lies beneath under the dust of Rayakottai and what we call as our known selves.

The journey started when I applied for it. ‘One-day trek’ said the invite, and I went (!). Then the difficulty status said ‘easy’ and I went (!!) and applied. Besides I had been getting crabby cloistered in the known almost hamster-in-the-wheel’ish and this in spite of my very varied Alice-in-wonderland explorative thinking-imagining mind, but it is mostly in my own space. I needed fresh material and fresh ground for my ‘rubber to meet the road.’ (I did not think exactly this way but perhaps my brain was doing that in the unconscious. You are what you think and you do even unconsciously what you think and have been thinking. Watch what you think has been the wiseman’s advice. I did not/dont know how good/robust is my thinking and where/what I dont know that I need to work on so that I don’t end up being pushy in my enthusiasm while there are miles to be covered in having the Planet be a humane place to live in. I certainly have work to do in this regard and am certainly ‘work in progress’ unto perfection, AND Rome was not built in a day but was certainly built with consistent everyday work). A trek is good enough. And then came what would it be worth the while for me at this point in time that would get the hamster-me out of the wheel. Exertibility, I decided. Muscle-power, but then I do have a pretty multifaceted brain, and so do we all, and mine added more to the list of want-to-have-wons en route and the following ensued.

Very serendipitously, the journey started by train; you know the cliche ‘we are all fellow-travellers in the train of life, we all aboard the train at some point and travel together in this train-compartment, spend some time together, and alight when our stations come to continue on in our own journeys.’ Well, we boarded at 2 pickup stations – Majestic and Byappanahalli – and alighted together at Rayakottai, Tamil Nadu. Crowded train with the inflow and outflow of every-age-group people, each with their concerns and aspirations, sometimes catching an eye over the expanse of the compartment, sometimes jostling by on their way in or out. Nice variety of currents in the flow of people en route. We boarded the train at 7:10, but the train-people had a mind of their own and started the train chugging at 7:35. I was so engrossed in the goings on, I did not note the time we reached Rayakottai; I was in the ‘live in the infinite present moment’ mindframe! We halted for a pack-a-potluck lunch briefly and then walked our way to Rayakottai – the hill proper.

She loomed ahead of us, with boulders of different sizes, a majestic big rock for her head, green shrubbery promising interesting nooks and crevices, and for decoration she had the trident symbol of the Tirumala temple fame painted across several of her rocks. A religious trek?! Well, I hadn’t planned on what to expect so, surprise! This was turning out to be a mystical trek as well. Well, that is what a journey is, ay? A determination, a road to traverse, a destination, and whatever serendipitous there could be en route. I purposefully did not checkout pictures or historical details or anything about this place as I also wanted it to be a journey to discover. Bangalore Trekking Club would prove to be contained space in which to explore new grounds this time too, I was about to discover.

The trek was supposedly short – about a 45 minute climb up and about same down – 2 KM each way. For me, with all the sights to take in and the mostly-sitting lifestyle with moderate physical exertion, the boulders challenged my physical exertibility. I huffed and puffed my way a few distance, then rest and find more stream and strength to go the next stretch. I don’t know how the body manages to get stronger with brief rests! For sure, rest is the secret to exertibility, if not performance? or at least, there is some of the magic in it. There were steps all over the place, afterall it was a fort of yore. I could not help sensing a sort of yearning or sadness or desolation in the serene, expansive, quiet air. The hill was certainly alive waiting for those who would come and attempt to know her better. She also had a little green pool amidst the rocks and I met a crab there, and another cove amidst the rocks where some one thought it beautiful enough to build a little brick and mortar structure – the roof is destroyed now but I cannot but wonder at the sense of beauty that someone or some people wanted to be a part of by living in there, I imagine (coz’ I have no idea what that structure was built there for). I degressed into reverie. You, dear Reader, should visit this place and then you would forgive me for degressing every so often here. It is so full of wonder! Good for exercising the imagination-muscle, so important to keep the ability to dream alive, for in dreaming is hope and the impetus to live a better life!

Interestingly, one way or the other, people seemed to be teasing each other about their names – some were okay about their names being called anyhow, some almost dismissively pronounced their last names, some did not have a last name. I happen to have trained in Systemic Constellations and had no plans of exercising my curricular interests during the trek but here inadvertently was names on focus, and we were on a trek to a historical spot, which basically is tradition (the fort has come about from people having lived there, which is why it is his-story’cal). How rooted are we in our ancestoral line, I had to wonder, for we were named by people who live now whose genes came from people who lived before them; our lives today came to be because there were people with genes that is in us today who lived such that they could survive what they had to live/survive through so that life could come to us that we enjoy by being able to be alive. Our names encapsulate that history – the story that has moved through the genes – encapsulated in our second names; our first names label you/I (we call a chair ‘chair’ to identify the structure; we call a person by name because that Name is the phonetic signature identifying only that one person and no one else). How can a name be allowed to be taken lightly or mispronounced even by the person whose name it is and if allowed to, what does that say about our own relationship with our identifying signature – our name? A walk to re-member, in deed.

“As you travel more, you start finding joy in small small things and you discover you dont need much to survive.” “You start relying more on yourself.” We had some profound conversations with some very interesting people. This is my second trek and I found the rich variety this time too. It is really interesting who embarks on a trek and why, and then with a club where the unknown variables are more. A responsible club accounts for variables in tried and tested ‘knowns’ as the structure by which the unknown is explored. I continue to wonder at the variety and the spirit that chooses such trails. The grit and gumption by which such trails are pursued and the verve it takes to conquer the unknown peak. This thought, of course, is a known for the regular trekkers for they are now dyed in the wool, imbued with what becomes possible through trekking, but for a second-timer this is a thought I am writing about and perhaps a thought that non-trekkers do not have available to think about.

There was so much hide and seek going on en route. Not literally but then in the persona of people. This is not new, of course, and one does not need to go on a trek to discover this. Personas in a person playing hide and seek is an everyday phenomenon. The little inner child exploring a line of thought or movement while having an everyday conversation, or a home maker trying a little extra of a spice in a regular dish or less and that ‘I dont know how that happened’ look is not really feigned but the dynamism of the conscious, subconscious and unconscious minds within the currents of the same person. The question is does one care to look? Does one care enough? Does one care. Period. And then, what does one do with the quantity/magnitude of care of what they care about. Is it just left as an insight? With a group of unknown people, that is another ‘variety’ I had to observe in this so-many-layers-of-variety trek.

The organizers, Subha Sundaram and Dinesh Yadav, did a beautiful job of syncing and coordinating between each other to hold the space together in which we participant trekkers could explore so much variety. Kudos to whatever they did to pull that off the way they did. They even managed to have a muscle-exertion reluctant me (read, resistent to climb up versus the easy descent) to climb up the same incline twice and I think I did it faster. Were they focusing also on increasing our cardiovascular efficiency or musculoskeletal strengthening? They may be coz’ the game of Ping-Pong involved pushups as a penalty for the wrong move. Improving athletic prowess must be part of the plan. Well, nevertheless, they did it well. (We reascended to eate lunch at the peak after we descended a little distance thinking of eating at the cove and then after the lunch, we redescended to also enjoy the shade and serentity of the cove for the game. We got what we wanted and they managed to get us exercise-stretch our limits too. Nicely done!

We had 3 youngsters amongst us – students. They brought an energy and a dash of modernity that is fresh and not the suave/polished kind that comes about with refinement but of a brand of its own. The new and of a spirit that is yet to dazzle but is in the making. It is kind of endearing to see this spirit in flittering hide-and-seek but also going through the motions of growing up – the doubts and trials and tribulations that is part and parcel of growing up. Only someone who is going through the motions of deliberate effort to grow in a desired manner would know when the actions or outcomes are not according to expectation and in those moments is where doubts and all those things mentioned in Kubler-Ross’ change curve comes alive and one needs to go through them before emerging better than before. It is beautiful and yet sort of heart-wrenching, much like you would perhaps when you see a caterpillar attempting to come out of its pupa in its attempt to become a butterfly and you want to help it but the caterpillar needs to go through what it needs to go through TO become the butterfly. How does one do it right when you dont know how to do it right though you know something needs to be done and you learn how to do it right only by paying attention to the feedback and the feedback only comes after you do it?! Do it, then rinse and repeat, I guess. I am sure the Sistine Chapel came about after many not-to-right compositions and those compositions were done for real on real canvas and then some feedback and criticism. The best is yet to be and the best is in the making, in the doing and in the constructive adjustment/accommodation of meted out criticism/feedback.

They did it again! Was it planned or is it in their ‘organizers’ manual’ if there is one on how to organize a trek that there be people of many levels of experience in a trek? I think most likely, considering there was so much lookout for first-timers. It feels like a well-watched-out for, watched-over learning, learning to be, and becoming space. It is humane microculture movement. It feels nice to be seeing this in retrospection. I dont think I would have really thought about this, spending so much time on it if I had just had an ‘aha’ moment of ‘this is probably what BTC is doing’ than with writing about it where I need to deliberate on what I did not know my mind was noticing. Yup, retrospection has multiple benefits, especially writing about the experience. I guess this is how ‘writing therapy’ emerged, where someone writes about difficult experiences and then the good and bad bits get sorted out and learnings emerge, so that a person is not stuck in the difficult bits of the experience but become stronger for it and better, and healthier.

For all of this good rich experience, I paid Rs. 130/- and that was calculated end of the day to include the travel expenses and food whatever may have been consumed as a group foraged en route. And I thought good ol’ altruism for better stronger human spirit was diminishing?! What was I thinking?!

Published in: on January 22, 2018 at 8:16 am  Comments (2)  


From earth, we butterfly matter-energy-matter-energy…until we come to Earth en route decrusting and crusting and decrusting and crusting again as we discover self and All That There Is (my version of Earth/matter/core!)

Published in: on December 14, 2017 at 5:59 am  Leave a Comment  

Who am I (3)

I am the singular and I am the plural AND there is you probably just as much as there is I and are a horizon I do not know much about.


Published in: on September 20, 2017 at 3:13 am  Leave a Comment  

So, what’s your story?

Our stories make us. We draw upon and imbibe from stories around us or that which we are exposed to. Some of us actively expose ourselves to stories – those of us who know the value of will. We become the stories through gradual imbibation. We tell the dialogues (in our minds or through our mouths) from scripts taken from other stories (stories of other people, dialogues we are subjected to through everyday conversations with other people, stories from books, movies, lyrics, fairy tales, folklore, history) and the material colluded through mix n’ match to make our own narratives. Those of us who have deliberated on creating our own stories deliberate on eliminating plagiarism (by paying close attention to the stories that run through our minds and is uttered through our mouths) until the stories imbibed are distilled and the essence therefrom becomes part of the stories that we are. The fabric of the person keeps changing all through the process (our photographs from young childhood to adulthood is evidence of our material changing through development of our stories). Some of us deliberate on distilling our stories until there is just one story and the person becomes one story – embodied. We are all bits of information. What story are you?

‘God’ is such a rational idea!

Mankind’s journey to rationalism has been through fear and faith (from fear of the mighty fire that engulfed their forest habitat from time to time to learning to use fire….and then further seeing a greater power at work in the seasons and goings on and in the mysterious so much so that he had to coin a word, God, to identify the idea easily) until reasoning and logic by putting cause and effect together arrives at seeking explanation for the mysterious. If God and faith are disregarded or its validity negated, we would be negating the history of rational thinking and some important steps in the development of intellect too for we have a cortex that is a mere development over that of our animal ancestors. Negation of such kind would be entangling the neuronal wiring of the brain that in its make has the reptilian and the primitive mammalian thinking hardwired in its make, in its genetic code itself, for how else would you explain the irrational fear from the back or of a stalker if the more primate ancestor was not having to be wary of the eagle in warding of which he had to seek ingenious ways to survive until the present day?

Published in: on September 2, 2016 at 3:06 am  Comments (1)  

If it isn’t a happy ending, it hasnt ended yet!

“Over time, family who never knew their relatives who had passed away years earlier slept in the same rooms, same beds, and spent days on the same beach as those before them.”

(The above is an except from this blogpost


This sentence got me thinking. We live in geographies lived in by ancestors who lived and breathed and passed on the land to the newer generations. We may never have met them but their presence lingers in the things they did, their thoughts gave rise to customs and traditions, and also the old pots and pans handed over as handlooms as some of those ancestors were from our own families. We have people who died fighting for independence from living conditions that the younger generations independed from and henceforth enjoy and occasionally talk and remember the ancestors whose fight led one way or the other to our freedom from the kinds of oppressions that were prevalent in those times. We would still have traces of the oppression of those times, in our need to control and dominate (perhaps in retaliation to being controlled and dominated at some point in time, even if it was as old as generations before).

I live in India and India was colonized by the British, so I can talk thusly. There would be British genes intermingled in our own bloodlines (such were the times then!) but would we revolt the ‘injustice’ metted out to us then somuchso that we revolt our own genes embeded in our DNA that has us be us?! Or would we be in acknowledgement of  them and say “this is how things happened.” Things happened, and that is not the end of story. The story ends when things are well and good. And then, that is not really end of story but a beginning of something new. Until such point, the story has not “ended.”

Our stories have happy endings (just look at our movies, at least most of the Indian movies, and definitely the fairy tales all around the world have happy endings; maybe that is even why people still love reading fairy tales even if they think they are impossible. Happy endings!). If the story has not ended happily, there is just another sequel waiting to happen, thats all – maybe in the next generation – but we can hand down a story that was better than the one that came to us. The point is, we can do something about the stories we live. The story here is our own lifestory, and we are the heroes and heroines of our stories. There are villans too, but a villan is always someone, if you notice, who has been wronged at some point and now seeks revenge. (I think the Talibans and ISIS and the whole lot of extremists are villans who have in one way or the other been wronged in some way and now seek revenge through violent means. At least, that must have been how they started. Their future generations may no longer know the reason why they got extremist. We are lucky enough to have ancestors who handed down happy values. Perhaps they were not so lucky. How do I know that? Study Nature. Even a snake wont bite unless threatened or hurt in some way! Mankind is just another being of Nature, no different in behavior hence). So unless the wronged villan has been appeased in some way, the story has not ended and the happy ending does not come through. What is a happy ending? “People, animals and plants, as visible evidence of life, are shining in their own light, in harmony with all that there is, in rhythmic synchrony with Nature and the Universe, being and doing what they came into existence for.”

Published in: on July 29, 2016 at 4:41 am  Comments (2)  

Mismatched partners

Objectification of something that is not bracketable into a few words and then commenting about it is much like sympathizing with something where empathy only could meet the demand of the occasion.

Published in: on March 11, 2016 at 7:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Each of us is unique and not..and both is true!

I commented not too long ago on Jan‘s post that I would post one on my blog (instigated by her post) about a lot of thoughts that has been hibernating since some time in my head. As I started writing, I found I have to start at a point different from what I immediately would have liked to (coz you dont just eat a pie from the middle!) and that if my post has got to make sense, at least to Jan, I would need to start by in a way orienting, if that is the word, the reader to my vocabulary (I refer here to the idea that each person has a different set of connotations for what a word means that essentially has each person have a ‘language’ of their own even though they speak English, say. Gives credence to the phrase ‘please speak in english’ while you are speaking in English, or that ‘you speak in Greek and Latin’ while you are speaking in English). So here goes…

Humor me as I articulate a thought that is not easy to articulate. (I find it was easy to just type my thoughts when I thought this blogspace was my little place to voice what is not commonly spoken about, to just get it out of my system so to speak, when no one was following or knew of my such existence other than as an office-going, doing everyday things forgettable someone, not worth following. I find I am not as uninhibited and hence terse even in bulletting out my thoughts anyhow for now I tend to think of how the reader would interpret and hence need to ‘neat out’ my sentences and meanings, but I guess such movements are part of growing up, though such ‘private’ spaces are required also in our own mind/psyche for a sense of ‘just me’ that is not lost in all that there is, for I am just as much a unique expression of consciousness having things to say/express that needs to be said/expressed as a function of the purpose of my existence). I guess that serves as a prelude to what I am attempting to say.

I was born at a particular time into a particular space. That calender date/month/year has never happened before (if it did, we would have had a 2015 twice or more). Spread this thought across different people being born at whatsoever time they were. For now, lets just stay with time and deal with space (..in a later blog maybe if I can adequately articulate what I have been thinking about this. I think somebody has got to say it….we keep taking about being unique vs not that there has gotta be some validity in both!). So, coming back to the train of thought: if we spread across the thought of different people being born at whatsoever time they were and are now in different age (I dont say age group, but age, because each of them were born at different times and so we have a crop that has ripened differently, i.e. we have babies and very elderly and all other ages in between living on the planet at this very moment in time at once). Each of them was born at different points of time in a time continuum of consciousness.

The videos below kind of makes my point. I could not find just one video to say it all so put up three, and still it does not say it all so I have attempted to word it through (like, wordingthrough, get it?). As you watch the first one, if you picture yourself as one of the planets, say Earth (I would rather you pictured yourself as the Sun, but I am unable to find a video where the sun is just another dot spiralling around the center of the galaxy, where again the galaxy, say the Milky Way, is just another dot spiralling around the mother of galaxies, so on and so forth through to all these bodies are spiralling around an invisible energy travelling through time and space. Since I am unable to find that video, I guess you would need to imagine that using my words) So basically, to get my point, I would rather that you pictured yourself as the central moving dot around which things spiral, and that the movement is onward in time, never backward, and that each point of distance covered is like a time when a life is born (astrologers look at time of birth and stellar constellation to know the constitution of a person). Consider that each life born is the breaking out of Consciousness into a consciousnesslet, for want of a better word. Something like fractals where the part is the whole, like microcosm is the macrocosm. Fractal





I refer here mainly to the point about an invisible energy moving through the universe in the wake of which everything comes into existence and everything spirals around onward, never backward (I will post another writeup shortly about time in the linear and nonlinear sense, which of course is just my idea of it). If we consider that that invisible energy is Consciousness (like, mother of all consciousness) that is also an intention set in motion (how, I cant say, but if I look within myself, I go into action to do something because I want something, a desire maybe or just an urge to do something and that urge is the intention) so lets say the mind of the Universe had the urge to create something and in wake of this urge the Universe was created. (I am considering the Universe to be alive, complete with the soul and mind and body and the whole package, where each of the existing material bodies as even planets, galaxies or human bodies, through to even individual human body together is the body of the Universe, just like we have cells in our body). That that invisible energy is the life force of the Universe. And that energy, just like you and me, does not know all about itself (there is something mysterious about us, not everything is known about us, even by us). (I also say this because, just like in the movie, The Matrix, where the Architect is just going about designing newer version of the System trying to better the design, the Universe is trying to better its model, if not we would already have a perfect system where no further improvements needed, but then I guess it is already perfect in its spiralling Fibonacci-like movement..at least that is the one that with my level of thinking currently is the model for our Universe, for it is a circle with an imperfection so that it has to move forward in an attempt to make it perfect. Thusly, it also ensures it is onward moving, so that it does not get bored (!) and keeps on at creating something. Perfect, in my estimate, at least for me coz I would get bored if it was just going on about the same point – keeps my mind busy and rolling so it does not gather moss. I’d like to think the Universe is no different; it does not seem to be bored from being in existence for soo long!).

It is a creative force and when it sets its mind on something, it just does it. So it created this complex, multidimensional, self-regulatable, perpetual living construct that we call the Universe. (I think there are multiverses, coz afterall we are said to be the microcosm of the macrocosm and if we are so many and of so many types, it is just logical to think that the whole ‘uni’verse is likely to be multi too.  I am also piqued by ‘verse’, like the verse of a song or something..I wonder who coined this word and if that person did not know something more because of which he/she termed it ‘uni’ and then ‘verse.’ I also keep reading that our Universe resonates with the sound of Om; could that mean this sound is like an organizing vibration for this one, and hence this ‘uni’-‘verse’ is an om-verse, versus some other sound for another Verse? With the microcosm of the macrocosm idea, as humans, I do see that each person seems to be moving to the beat of their own drum).

So, the point I am attempting to make is, considering that we are born at different times in the time continuum of consciousness, and in different circumstances (and circumstances through time, read example BC to AC or stone ages to metal age, keeps changing, meaning getting complexer due to changes in thinking, time cycles, etc etc. Sciency thinkers say the entropy of the Universe is increasing with time), that each of us is also Consciousness’ attempt to understand itself (like trying to see what it is capable of because each of us is a fragment of the whole..you know the whole microcosm of the macrocosm bit. Besides, why would we have a mind of our own and ability to choose if it was all prewritten and just executing the written program? Nature/Universe – I guess both are same in some aspects – I think is too smart to waste something after creating something as free-reining as a mind of its own for each person. If I designed a machine and wanted to keep things going just the way I designed it to be and having complete control of things, I wouldnt give the machine parts a mind of its own, that would be chaotic, but here we all have a mind of our own and ability to choose; there should be a reason why that is the case, I figure); that each of us are unique because of when/where/how we were born and consequent development (through conditioning in different, read unique, environments that two people may or may not have being the same, and even if that was the case, one person would not be experiencing the same thing as another because two people cannot occupy the same space at the same time even if we consider it in terms of different dimensions simultaneously for even then it is ‘different’ dimension, read even quantum state if we consider this case through quantum physics..unless of course my understanding of quantum physics is faulty) and hence each of us are unique. (I chanced upon this little note. It reads, “Tulsatva: The name tulsi connotes ‘the incomparable one.’ Sattva is the purity in Sanksrit and denotes the purest form of any substance. This merchandise as picked by you is the amalgamation of purity and quality to make this the ‘incomparable one.’ This quality merchandise is hand crafted with finest material to ensure purity in terms of comfort, durability, etc. Its overall character is enhanced by the slight flaws and imperfections which occur during the manufacturing process.” See! We are each unique, that is if you are able to dash the dots and make sense of what I am attempting to say).

But, we are from the same ocean of consciousness (if that would be an appropriate word, i thought ‘stream of consciousness’ but there is soo much depth to consciousness…read conscious, subconscious and unconscious levels if not more…that ocean seems more apt in my estimate) that each of us are not that unique too in that deep down we are just as potential as the Universe itself in what we can bring forth (we can create worlds if we have the mind to..just as a little example, look at the worlds created by people through books, even one person who puts their mind to it births a new world through their work that hitherto never existed and helps forward lifekind, and just books are of how many kinds and what not do they speak of and create hence. From the stone ages until now, through imagination and endeavor, we are now reaching to the outer realms of space, traveling to Mars). The difference is in how much each of us are able to, and I emphasize the word able, due to whatsoever reasons, to access such depths and ‘see’/experience the profundity that is ‘all of us at once’ as One at one plane without difference, and further, what we ‘do’ (or create) with this understanding. (Some of us do not even individuate as a person and come into our own, living the purpose of our coming into existence and hence our Dharma, but we have the potential for it and the proof for it is our coming into existence itself. Nature is too smart to keep unwanted things around or things that do not serve a purpose, so if something exists, it is serving a purpose, whether one likes it or not. Things exist because there is a scope for its existence, and what endures is that which stands the test of time. Makes logical sense, doesn’t it? At least, I think so. I also think that somehow that which endures is always the ‘timeless’ values and things that are constructive and harmonious). So, you see we are unique and not unique, and both are true in my estimate, thusly.

(I am attempting to articulate my thoughts about this, and as I wrote this post I find there is more to write, like an old-fashioned telescope tube – there is more length to be pulled out of the tube that I am currently looking through. It is my opinion anyway, and opinions are 10 a penny, so here’s mine to the pool. How valid they are will depend on how the different opinions match up to form a cohesive whole that, most likely, nonlinearly makes sense to all, I guess. I call it circular logic or universal mathematics – a sort of cohesive well managed, even self-managed, system. This is also perhaps what they call as unified field theory, but I am no physicist, just a person thoughting my way through life constructing my own Theory of Everything to make sense of the world I live in, just like any other person).





So here I am pulling my noodles through concepts and ideas and information of many kinds, and trying to marshal them into strings of words that I occasionally post here, and Jan Stone nominates me for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Surprised and encouraged, but that is mostly over relief that somebody can understand what I type AND think it worthy enough for a nomination…and a Sunshine Blogger at that!  (I always thought me to be pathologically optimistic but I did not think any of that poured through to my writings, so I guess I was wrong. Clearly, I need to work on my self-esteem).

Now the rules for sunshine blogger award: 

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you for the award.
  • Display the banner /sticker /logo on your blog.
  • Share 7 facts or things about yourself.
  • Nominate 5 bloggers that you admire and inform nominees by commenting on their blog.

Checking off the to-do list:

  • I have thanked Jan for the nomination (I must admit it feels a bit awkward to mention that I thanked somebody on a blog post, almost as though announcing to the world an otherwise sacred act to be conducted person-to-person only of which a ‘sorry’ is another example).
  • Have displayed the banner/sticker/logo on this blog.
  • Share 7 facts or things about myself (I write this along the lines of ‘If you really knew me, you would know that…..’):  1) I have 2 professions – I work as a certified healthcare documentation specialist and am a Body Intelligence practitioner (certified Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist or BCST).  I have a website (www.dynamicstillnesses.com) that is yet to get the full blast of my thoughts and ideas but good enough to get some idea about BCST. I consider myself mostly a healing practitioner. 2) I consider myself at zero (so my name atxero) though I am named Bitha Sadanandan, coz I would like to place me at zero so that I have 100% of the way to go, so that I dont fall into the trap of presumption/prejudice and miss out on some really juice stuff en route with the ‘going’ basically being to realize a vision, which I am not ready to share in words yet. It is just something that inspires the heck out of me but also seems to be mushrooming into something so fantabulistic that it feels a bit like Alice in Wonderland, only this Alice has a sword to find through Wonderland (the Sword being Paulo Coelho’s idea of a worthy something to find for which a journey is embarked upon in his book, The Pilgrimage). Clearly, I have a quite an imagination, says me shyly. 3) I care very deeply. You wouldn’t know that from the kind of things that run through my head; you are most likely to think me to be scatterbrained, but I am not – there is a method to the madness :-). 4) I have embarked on a gratitude challenge (that started with a 21-day challenge but is now on the 38th day, gearing up for a 365-day span) and that is getting my juice out – having me take a good hard look at what I think as values, my principles, being absolutely honest with myself and basically having me face myself squarely and consequently the world that I inhabit. It questions the masks I donn and asks of me to remove them, and consequently open my heart to be touched, to give and receive. A churner, that one. Gratitude challenge indeed! 5) I love depth – in character mostly – in people, history, nature, thoughts, ventures. I also love purpose and look for meaning/constructivism (as against destructivism) through what is being brought forth. Having said that, I am not blind to the need to just express howsoever whatsoever for the sake of expression because it is just there to be expressed (as against suppressed) and I do see the beauty in it, but I just wished that people were healthy enough to be always mindful of what is being brought forth (and that is why I am a Body Intelligence practitioner! Its my job to inspire Life to health!). As you can see, I am also contradictory (but not actually – there is a method in this madness. Not scatterbrained. I wish they had smileys on WordPress). 6) I am learning to play the flute, and have an alternating hot-warm relationship with it. I am a bit daunted with the vastness of the world of music for a person who loves depth and vastness, and I am in the process of figuring out why. I dabble with colors sometimes but I am mostly in love with the black white and shades of gray through the graphite pencil. 7) I write long posts (duh) and have been attempting to precise write since a long time now but somehow words just dont get into the cuppyhole when I am trying to explain something that is difficult to express in words. I am increasingly attempting to describe the indescribable, which is also a means by which I keep myself challenged and straining against my horizons to keep expanding. With these 7 points, my self-esteem has had a nice workout – getting better already!
  • Nominate 5 bloggers that you admire and inform nominees by commenting on their blog: Stuart M. Perkins, Serendipity Point, A word, please, Fiesta Estrellas, Pohltry Rich people – rich in spirit and content whose thoughts I just have had the fortune to read. Jan Stone comes to this list too but she nominated me so I dont know if it works with a renomination. Sunshine Bloggers indeed! They bring hope, a seeing eye, a discerning eye, and throw a light (sunshine) on otherwise overlooked everydayness AND bring to light the not-everydayness.

Hope the reader sees this of their writings too!

Published in: on December 20, 2015 at 4:50 pm  Comments (2)  
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‘My’ tribe (family in the heart#2)

A new kind of ‘world’ showed up as being perhaps possible, inchoately. It made its presence today, don’t know if it was silently taking shape since some time. A new set of relationships inside the existing sets, towards the center-side, i.e. if we consider that relationships are concentric circles from ‘I’ at the center with my relationship with myself being the center-most circle. It follows along the lines of ‘friends becoming family.’ You see, there seems to be filters, boundaries if you may, for each ‘relationship’ beyond which is no-entry zone. Strangers may come thus far but not beyond, so also an acquaintence may come thus far but not beyond. Consequently, emotions (these things dont really know boundaries; you really need to marshal them into staying within the ‘boxes’ our mind/brain or whatever wants to keep people and things in; emotions are a little like children I guess, a little too ‘hearty,’ if you know what I mean), so emotions tend to have too many grey shades between white and black, and it gets difficult when an intense shade shows up in an ‘acquaintence’ relationship and when that happens, alarm bells go off in the brain to caution that the boundary line is getting crossed. A lot of the times ‘I’ may never have experienced most or any of those intense shades because most or any are ever allowed to cross the boundary for the ‘I’ to ever experience them.

I think there could be a way for ‘I’ to be in the world where those intense shades of colors can be experienced, in a field where there are no boundaries of time and space, where time flows as one eternity. (They keep saying in esoteric spaces that the soul is eternal and that the body has lifetimes as timeframes in which to experience living, so going by the line of rebirth and soul continuum, who is to say how old your’s and my souls are?! and who is to say these acquaintences or even unexpicably close-feeling relationships does not go far beyond any rational explanations of how far they go?). Who is to say that just guided by these intense shades (hearty shades?), new meaningful relationships of a kind never before contemplated is not in the making? Who says human race needs to be seen as individuals of a species living as though each from a different species bracketed under one? Who says family or tribe is only that which one is born into, that there cannot be families in the heart that is not defined by blood-relationships, that even blood-relationships needs to be just tissue-bonding?  Much inspired by family(s) in the heart.

Published in: on December 6, 2015 at 9:39 am  Leave a Comment  
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