Who am I (3)

I am the singular and I am the plural AND there is you probably just as much as there is I and are a horizon I do not know much about.

 

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Published in: on September 20, 2017 at 3:13 am  Leave a Comment  

Who am I? (2)

It is when I do what has not been done before that I come more into being. I come from the unknown into the known and in-form the existing. I am the new.

Published in: on February 25, 2017 at 6:48 am  Comments (1)  

My residence..

Where do I exist? Somewhere in the valley between the head and rest of my body as a sound that emerges when wind (through my body) manages to pass through the valley where I reside.

Published in: on September 2, 2016 at 3:08 am  Leave a Comment  

If it isn’t a happy ending, it hasnt ended yet!

“Over time, family who never knew their relatives who had passed away years earlier slept in the same rooms, same beds, and spent days on the same beach as those before them.”

(The above is an except from this blogpost

https://storyshucker.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/its-what-we-do/#like-1049)

This sentence got me thinking. We live in geographies lived in by ancestors who lived and breathed and passed on the land to the newer generations. We may never have met them but their presence lingers in the things they did, their thoughts gave rise to customs and traditions, and also the old pots and pans handed over as handlooms as some of those ancestors were from our own families. We have people who died fighting for independence from living conditions that the younger generations independed from and henceforth enjoy and occasionally talk and remember the ancestors whose fight led one way or the other to our freedom from the kinds of oppressions that were prevalent in those times. We would still have traces of the oppression of those times, in our need to control and dominate (perhaps in retaliation to being controlled and dominated at some point in time, even if it was as old as generations before).

I live in India and India was colonized by the British, so I can talk thusly. There would be British genes intermingled in our own bloodlines (such were the times then!) but would we revolt the ‘injustice’ metted out to us then somuchso that we revolt our own genes embeded in our DNA that has us be us?! Or would we be in acknowledgement of  them and say “this is how things happened.” Things happened, and that is not the end of story. The story ends when things are well and good. And then, that is not really end of story but a beginning of something new. Until such point, the story has not “ended.”

Our stories have happy endings (just look at our movies, at least most of the Indian movies, and definitely the fairy tales all around the world have happy endings; maybe that is even why people still love reading fairy tales even if they think they are impossible. Happy endings!). If the story has not ended happily, there is just another sequel waiting to happen, thats all – maybe in the next generation – but we can hand down a story that was better than the one that came to us. The point is, we can do something about the stories we live. The story here is our own lifestory, and we are the heroes and heroines of our stories. There are villans too, but a villan is always someone, if you notice, who has been wronged at some point and now seeks revenge. (I think the Talibans and ISIS and the whole lot of extremists are villans who have in one way or the other been wronged in some way and now seek revenge through violent means. At least, that must have been how they started. Their future generations may no longer know the reason why they got extremist. We are lucky enough to have ancestors who handed down happy values. Perhaps they were not so lucky. How do I know that? Study Nature. Even a snake wont bite unless threatened or hurt in some way! Mankind is just another being of Nature, no different in behavior hence). So unless the wronged villan has been appeased in some way, the story has not ended and the happy ending does not come through. What is a happy ending? “People, animals and plants, as visible evidence of life, are shining in their own light, in harmony with all that there is, in rhythmic synchrony with Nature and the Universe, being and doing what they came into existence for.”

Published in: on July 29, 2016 at 4:41 am  Comments (2)  

Each of us is unique and not..and both is true!

I commented not too long ago on Jan‘s post that I would post one on my blog (instigated by her post) about a lot of thoughts that has been hibernating since some time in my head. As I started writing, I found I have to start at a point different from what I immediately would have liked to (coz you dont just eat a pie from the middle!) and that if my post has got to make sense, at least to Jan, I would need to start by in a way orienting, if that is the word, the reader to my vocabulary (I refer here to the idea that each person has a different set of connotations for what a word means that essentially has each person have a ‘language’ of their own even though they speak English, say. Gives credence to the phrase ‘please speak in english’ while you are speaking in English, or that ‘you speak in Greek and Latin’ while you are speaking in English). So here goes…

Humor me as I articulate a thought that is not easy to articulate. (I find it was easy to just type my thoughts when I thought this blogspace was my little place to voice what is not commonly spoken about, to just get it out of my system so to speak, when no one was following or knew of my such existence other than as an office-going, doing everyday things forgettable someone, not worth following. I find I am not as uninhibited and hence terse even in bulletting out my thoughts anyhow for now I tend to think of how the reader would interpret and hence need to ‘neat out’ my sentences and meanings, but I guess such movements are part of growing up, though such ‘private’ spaces are required also in our own mind/psyche for a sense of ‘just me’ that is not lost in all that there is, for I am just as much a unique expression of consciousness having things to say/express that needs to be said/expressed as a function of the purpose of my existence). I guess that serves as a prelude to what I am attempting to say.

I was born at a particular time into a particular space. That calender date/month/year has never happened before (if it did, we would have had a 2015 twice or more). Spread this thought across different people being born at whatsoever time they were. For now, lets just stay with time and deal with space (..in a later blog maybe if I can adequately articulate what I have been thinking about this. I think somebody has got to say it….we keep taking about being unique vs not that there has gotta be some validity in both!). So, coming back to the train of thought: if we spread across the thought of different people being born at whatsoever time they were and are now in different age (I dont say age group, but age, because each of them were born at different times and so we have a crop that has ripened differently, i.e. we have babies and very elderly and all other ages in between living on the planet at this very moment in time at once). Each of them was born at different points of time in a time continuum of consciousness.

The videos below kind of makes my point. I could not find just one video to say it all so put up three, and still it does not say it all so I have attempted to word it through (like, wordingthrough, get it?). As you watch the first one, if you picture yourself as one of the planets, say Earth (I would rather you pictured yourself as the Sun, but I am unable to find a video where the sun is just another dot spiralling around the center of the galaxy, where again the galaxy, say the Milky Way, is just another dot spiralling around the mother of galaxies, so on and so forth through to all these bodies are spiralling around an invisible energy travelling through time and space. Since I am unable to find that video, I guess you would need to imagine that using my words) So basically, to get my point, I would rather that you pictured yourself as the central moving dot around which things spiral, and that the movement is onward in time, never backward, and that each point of distance covered is like a time when a life is born (astrologers look at time of birth and stellar constellation to know the constitution of a person). Consider that each life born is the breaking out of Consciousness into a consciousnesslet, for want of a better word. Something like fractals where the part is the whole, like microcosm is the macrocosm. Fractal

 

 

 

 

I refer here mainly to the point about an invisible energy moving through the universe in the wake of which everything comes into existence and everything spirals around onward, never backward (I will post another writeup shortly about time in the linear and nonlinear sense, which of course is just my idea of it). If we consider that that invisible energy is Consciousness (like, mother of all consciousness) that is also an intention set in motion (how, I cant say, but if I look within myself, I go into action to do something because I want something, a desire maybe or just an urge to do something and that urge is the intention) so lets say the mind of the Universe had the urge to create something and in wake of this urge the Universe was created. (I am considering the Universe to be alive, complete with the soul and mind and body and the whole package, where each of the existing material bodies as even planets, galaxies or human bodies, through to even individual human body together is the body of the Universe, just like we have cells in our body). That that invisible energy is the life force of the Universe. And that energy, just like you and me, does not know all about itself (there is something mysterious about us, not everything is known about us, even by us). (I also say this because, just like in the movie, The Matrix, where the Architect is just going about designing newer version of the System trying to better the design, the Universe is trying to better its model, if not we would already have a perfect system where no further improvements needed, but then I guess it is already perfect in its spiralling Fibonacci-like movement..at least that is the one that with my level of thinking currently is the model for our Universe, for it is a circle with an imperfection so that it has to move forward in an attempt to make it perfect. Thusly, it also ensures it is onward moving, so that it does not get bored (!) and keeps on at creating something. Perfect, in my estimate, at least for me coz I would get bored if it was just going on about the same point – keeps my mind busy and rolling so it does not gather moss. I’d like to think the Universe is no different; it does not seem to be bored from being in existence for soo long!).

It is a creative force and when it sets its mind on something, it just does it. So it created this complex, multidimensional, self-regulatable, perpetual living construct that we call the Universe. (I think there are multiverses, coz afterall we are said to be the microcosm of the macrocosm and if we are so many and of so many types, it is just logical to think that the whole ‘uni’verse is likely to be multi too.  I am also piqued by ‘verse’, like the verse of a song or something..I wonder who coined this word and if that person did not know something more because of which he/she termed it ‘uni’ and then ‘verse.’ I also keep reading that our Universe resonates with the sound of Om; could that mean this sound is like an organizing vibration for this one, and hence this ‘uni’-‘verse’ is an om-verse, versus some other sound for another Verse? With the microcosm of the macrocosm idea, as humans, I do see that each person seems to be moving to the beat of their own drum).

So, the point I am attempting to make is, considering that we are born at different times in the time continuum of consciousness, and in different circumstances (and circumstances through time, read example BC to AC or stone ages to metal age, keeps changing, meaning getting complexer due to changes in thinking, time cycles, etc etc. Sciency thinkers say the entropy of the Universe is increasing with time), that each of us is also Consciousness’ attempt to understand itself (like trying to see what it is capable of because each of us is a fragment of the whole..you know the whole microcosm of the macrocosm bit. Besides, why would we have a mind of our own and ability to choose if it was all prewritten and just executing the written program? Nature/Universe – I guess both are same in some aspects – I think is too smart to waste something after creating something as free-reining as a mind of its own for each person. If I designed a machine and wanted to keep things going just the way I designed it to be and having complete control of things, I wouldnt give the machine parts a mind of its own, that would be chaotic, but here we all have a mind of our own and ability to choose; there should be a reason why that is the case, I figure); that each of us are unique because of when/where/how we were born and consequent development (through conditioning in different, read unique, environments that two people may or may not have being the same, and even if that was the case, one person would not be experiencing the same thing as another because two people cannot occupy the same space at the same time even if we consider it in terms of different dimensions simultaneously for even then it is ‘different’ dimension, read even quantum state if we consider this case through quantum physics..unless of course my understanding of quantum physics is faulty) and hence each of us are unique. (I chanced upon this little note. It reads, “Tulsatva: The name tulsi connotes ‘the incomparable one.’ Sattva is the purity in Sanksrit and denotes the purest form of any substance. This merchandise as picked by you is the amalgamation of purity and quality to make this the ‘incomparable one.’ This quality merchandise is hand crafted with finest material to ensure purity in terms of comfort, durability, etc. Its overall character is enhanced by the slight flaws and imperfections which occur during the manufacturing process.” See! We are each unique, that is if you are able to dash the dots and make sense of what I am attempting to say).

But, we are from the same ocean of consciousness (if that would be an appropriate word, i thought ‘stream of consciousness’ but there is soo much depth to consciousness…read conscious, subconscious and unconscious levels if not more…that ocean seems more apt in my estimate) that each of us are not that unique too in that deep down we are just as potential as the Universe itself in what we can bring forth (we can create worlds if we have the mind to..just as a little example, look at the worlds created by people through books, even one person who puts their mind to it births a new world through their work that hitherto never existed and helps forward lifekind, and just books are of how many kinds and what not do they speak of and create hence. From the stone ages until now, through imagination and endeavor, we are now reaching to the outer realms of space, traveling to Mars). The difference is in how much each of us are able to, and I emphasize the word able, due to whatsoever reasons, to access such depths and ‘see’/experience the profundity that is ‘all of us at once’ as One at one plane without difference, and further, what we ‘do’ (or create) with this understanding. (Some of us do not even individuate as a person and come into our own, living the purpose of our coming into existence and hence our Dharma, but we have the potential for it and the proof for it is our coming into existence itself. Nature is too smart to keep unwanted things around or things that do not serve a purpose, so if something exists, it is serving a purpose, whether one likes it or not. Things exist because there is a scope for its existence, and what endures is that which stands the test of time. Makes logical sense, doesn’t it? At least, I think so. I also think that somehow that which endures is always the ‘timeless’ values and things that are constructive and harmonious). So, you see we are unique and not unique, and both are true in my estimate, thusly.

(I am attempting to articulate my thoughts about this, and as I wrote this post I find there is more to write, like an old-fashioned telescope tube – there is more length to be pulled out of the tube that I am currently looking through. It is my opinion anyway, and opinions are 10 a penny, so here’s mine to the pool. How valid they are will depend on how the different opinions match up to form a cohesive whole that, most likely, nonlinearly makes sense to all, I guess. I call it circular logic or universal mathematics – a sort of cohesive well managed, even self-managed, system. This is also perhaps what they call as unified field theory, but I am no physicist, just a person thoughting my way through life constructing my own Theory of Everything to make sense of the world I live in, just like any other person).

 

 

Alienese

This is a followup to the post, crazy or autism spectrum – Emperor’s robe redefined.

A fellow wordpresser, Jan, in her blog, Looking at life as a virtual game, has been mentioning the Words of William. I purchased the book, fascinated as I am by the uniqueness of each individual and I thought “here’s another specimen of humanity – unique or one of a kind? Let me check” as I bought the book.

Thanks to William, I thought its time I at least attempted to word my thoughts about alienese, which is my coined word for the language that is unique to an individual before conforming to any society-formulated language(like English, French, whatever). Its a preverbal language of a person by which he/she makes sense of the world he/she comes to inhabit, and as one makes sense of the circumstances into which one is born (read society, culture, religion, geographical or nation-al expectations, etc) by dashing the dots, one begins to formulate ones own Theory of Everything in ones own vocabulary, which essentially is ones own version of alienese, which is most likely to be different from another’s alienese (here my coined word, alienese, is from my personal vocabulary and helps me make sense of the world and everything there is). In my opinion, it is because of this difference between one person’s theory of everything from another’s that two people look at the same event and have two different interpretations of what happened and different insights therefrom. Schizoprenia is said to be a condition where a person’s comprehensive understanding of the world and everything there is (that person’s Theory of Everything) gets shaken or fragmented and the person has awry associations.

Have you tried to describe, say, a child’s smile and either failed or had difficulty finding words to describe even though you had a clear set of images/sensations/thoughts that rushed into your head but just did not find the words for expression? You now probably have an inchoate idea of what I mean by alienese.

Further, when you happen to meet another person who seems to have your version of alienese, it is something like what happens in this video, where the sea walrus thinks the man is just the same (species perhaps) as itself only looks different for some reason.

(Reference also Individual in a crowd)

I am coming out!

…like from an egg ! (duh…and you thought something else?)

I have heard the phrase ‘coming out’ so often these days that it cannot not take on a life of its own, as such things probably happen in any system once something has been around for long enough. I seem to be ‘coming out’ in some ways just from being around in some spaces…sort of like once the stress of the space gets ‘tight’ enough that one needs to take a stand one way or the other and pop ‘comes out’ the stand for it can no longer take what it is not. I guess the trick is in sticking around long enough in any space until something gives way or something clarifies…and then one has a sort of better understanding of oneself and others, I guess.

I, in the attempt to get a picture that would probably ‘speak a thousand words’ without me having to write too much, tried Google Pictures and it seems that ‘coming out’ has just one meaning (at least thats what it seems like from the search), but ‘coming out’ can be anything, even something as simple as say, ‘I am a veggie in a tribe of cannibals’ (howzzat for dramatic effect?!). And I had to put in this second paragraph just so the message I thought worth putting out there does not get lost in just one color of what ‘coming out’ could mean. I think disambiguation is an important part of communication. I must be growing up.

Published in: on August 29, 2015 at 4:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Becoming and being a human being

A human being is yet to be. Evolution thus far has only signified the possibility of a human being while cognition/consciousness was working towards realizing what a human being is. Human beings are just in the making. They have only been calling prior or intermediate ape forms as human beings.

Published in: on June 10, 2015 at 2:59 am  Leave a Comment  
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Crazy or Autism Spectrum? Emperors new robe redefined (!)

I have heard a person labelled with Autism say ‘people think I am weird; I think I am fine and other people are weird.’

It is nice sometimes to be regarded crazy, which I think usually means ‘cannot understand and hence categorized into a box that is akin to miscellaneous’ because the brain is always trying to fit what it comes across into boxes to be able to understand and make sense of things, and it has a box for everything and every box has a label; it is just an easy way to organize things up in the attic, a sort of filing system. Now, the label of Autistic Spectrum disorder gives an interesting space; the disorder bit can be done without because that suggests ‘not ok and/or something wrong’ and it is not great to be in the ‘something wrong (with me!!) space.’ The Autistic Spectrum alone (for convenience I shall call it AS) is a label that takes away the stigma of being ‘crazy’ and yet gives space for being ‘whatever and whoever’, in short, a little laboratory space to play it out in the real world. Every person is unique without question because the circumstances in which birth happened is nuanced differently, the growing conditions are different for each, interpretation of what happens is different and called ‘subjective,’ cultural/socioeconomic backgrounds are different, and the experience of living in the midst of soo many variables gives rise to unique entities that may never have been formed before; there may be similar combinations but not exactly that combination, and that means that that combination of a person can do what only that combination of characteristics/traits can do, which may be something so totally different than any predictions because such a combination has never existed before, and there needs to be a space for that combination of a person to play out (or express) his/her uniqueness for which the label of Autism Spectrum offers the freedom to do so. Ok, I grant it that the acceptance of the word Autism Spectrum as it is getting more accepted to be today (versus an unaccepted label like HIV or mad, which has negative connotations) allows for the mind to try out the opportunity offered by the space of the label more than ever before (just as the freedom offered by the label ‘gay’ may offer to a person who is confined/restricted in the ‘conservative’ and hence an opportunity to be a rebel of the system perhaps. I am guessing that could be the reason why we have more ‘gay’ people ‘coming out in the open’ these days than ever before – because of the freedom from the confining space of the ‘norm’ represented by the word (apart from the actual psychosomatic reference to the term, that is). It can be stiffling to be ‘normal,’ especially when ‘normal’ is not clearly defined and is subject to interpretation. So, am I categorizable in the ASD box? I dont know but it sure is fun to be the quirky me as I try out this new robe. hehe.

Knock. Knock. Who’s there?

What do people listen to/look for/search for when listening, interacting with, exploring places and people, I wonder. What ticks a person? For sure, they don’t hear what I want them to hear, don’t see what I want them to see. They, more often than not, get a different story to the one I intend to be heard. Reminds me of an amoeba that puts forth its pseudopod blindly to hold onto something that is stable? Likes? Safe? And then once it finds such a surface, rolls its body into its pseudopod and then rests for a while until it does it all over again. The story of evolution then exists, not in the annals of history, but in our very everyday mannerisms of living. If there is the amoeba-like mind state, there is also the fish and snake and tiger and monkey and neandrathal and homo sapien-like mind states. I wonder who looks out at me from those eyes and what does it look at, and what does it see. I could go into the neurophysiological mechanics of what the living structure of a body with its anatomy and physiology makes possible, and also the limits, but none of that touches that which sees/feels/thinks/hears lives within the mechanisms of that biological body. A case of “knock, knock, who’s there?”

Published in: on February 22, 2015 at 6:52 am  Leave a Comment  
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