Who am I talking to?

Listening. Two ears and one mouth. Nature’s way of saying listen more and talk less?

Speaking and listening is so closely related. But then speaking and listening happens not just with other people but with ourselves too. There is a feedback mechanism at play that has me listening to my own voice. I know some people do not listen to themselves (not consciously at least) and that may explain some of the ‘nonsense’ that falls out of the mouth. ‘Have you listened to yourself’ (with some exasperation) must make more sense in this context (!). But, more seriously, Im thinking that each of us must like, if not love, our own voice and cant really stay long without hearing it, if not in a conversation with another, then with our own self. And I go on now to think that we speak not for another to listen but for me to listen to myself too! You see, a conversation involves speaking and listening, but too much of listening OR too much of speaking suppresses the other function. This suppression (has latent energy and needs release) shows up from within as a disquiet, restlessness, anxiety, fear, anhedonia, moroseness, (or) is manifested outside as a complaint, argument, blame, anger, gossip, judgment…in short, noises.

Had been scribbling my thoughts on paper to vent the words out of my head. Had not been seriously thinking at the moment I wrote but on re-read I found it kinda thought provoking. Read on..

“I have not been listening to myself it seems – listening to my complaints, fears and observations voiced to myself but spoken as though addressed to other people in response to them, when it seems I have been wanting me to hear me out, wanting me to listen to my concerns. Poor listeners of my conversations! They would hardly understand everything I said or the logic of my thinking, for now in retrospect I think I was hardly speaking to them but to the me who was listening to those people and interpreteting what they said without really digesting and processing the info within me, without really listening to me, so that what came out of my mouth had to be mixed with what my subconscious has been trying to tell me in my unslept dreams (and I have been sleeping less) and through my ‘insights’ that were noted but their significance ungotten. I want to listen to all what I have to say and I am available to me.”

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Published in: on October 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

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