Being me. Beingbitz

Been fighting to be, just be whoever I am in whatever mood or state I am, and being available or not to whatever is happening around me by being me. Discovered that half my energy goes in fighting to just be and then the rest is in dealing with whatever else needs be dealt with. Been having some rude awakenings in the process, like seeing that I almost constantly molded my behavior to suit the listener, and so I never really was me. Felt cameleonish at the thought. And what was interesting about it is that once i saw that i molded my behavior and stopped molding it, people were pretty reactivated by Everything I did or said, especially the ones I thought were hypersensitive to behavior modifications (pretenses). Quite dissappointing as well as eye-opening actually. It took some daring adventures (experiements actually) before I could even begin to think about demarcating myself from what i have been. The mold into which i casted myself over time had to be first distinguished before any thought of unmolding could come..and I like the image that is forming now. I like me more today.

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Published in: on October 9, 2011 at 4:54 pm  Leave a Comment  

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