Old wine in new bottle..

I often feel just that…that i may be someone from a lost era, ancient like the banyan tree. Somehow moved far out from that core of strong, demand-you-give-ur-best-or-else-degenerate set of values, yet retaining their essence in me, much like the aerial roots of the ancient banyan spread out so far from the mother tree that you no longer know where the original tree stood. I believe in honesty, getting strong by facing adversity, valor, dignity, strength of character, etc.etc. I search for truth. I often find me measuring a lot of things happening around me by such yardsticks, and unconsciously find them wanting. Unconscious, because consciously I would not acknowledge such yardsticks for acknowledging it would mean my admission that I compare, and comparison is bad (!), or so I say it is bad for I see the ill-effects of comparison and the degeneration happening because of it all around me, so comparison is bad, must be bad (humph). I am drawn towards such age-old (maybe ageless) values, like a magnet to iron. I somehow know the presence of such values instinctively. Yet, do not want to be branded old-fashioned. I want to belong in the mileu, and be accepted.

 Feel at odds with things and people sometimes, like a fish out of water, trying to get my bearing and seeking to be in sync with the behavior and thinking of mileu, and somehow managing to end up feeling kafkaisc.

I like those age-old timeless values. I like that I like them. And also like that I search for them in things and people around me. In this kafkaisc world, lemme dig in my roots, spread out my wings, and explore the spaces available and see things from the vantage point of whatever I am and am not. Lemme discover who I am and what I am capable of by reflecting my ‘light’ off things/people and learning by experience and by retrospection.

Published in: on April 18, 2011 at 6:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

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